Wednesday, 17 June 2009


I lay there. Boiling hot night, window wide open, cover thrown back. I began to slowly drift off, feeling pretty comfy to say the least. Suddenly a really loud noise erupted in my room. My eyes burst open and i stared wildly at my pillow.

What the hell is that?
I couldn't make out what it was. Didn't sound like any aircraft I've ever heard, and if it was a plane or something, surely the noise would get quieter as it passed? I froze. Sweating like mozzarella on a sunbed i tugged the duvet over my head.

What the hell is that?
I daren't look through the window. I could feel my temples pulsing. Beginning to feel very alone and vulnerable i cuddled my Filbert Fox. Thoughts flooded my head: what if something comes through the window, i can't close the window because i don't want them to see me through the curtain...

So. There i lay, in the foetal position clutching my cuddly toy with my eyes squeezed shut. Maybe this reaction was something to do with the horror film I'd just watched. All snuggled in my soft, safe cocoon I must've eventually fallen asleep.

The mystery was solved when i heard the radio in the morning though. Police helicopter. Oh my days. xx

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Sunshine, Shades and Fosters...

Stacey!! "The Sun is shining. The Sky is blue. And i feel happy, happy all through" (The wisdom of Rosie and Jim can't ever be knocked tee hee)
When it's a brilliant day in the UK us Britons all feel the need to get out in the sun , while we can. Immediately the flip flops come out, the mini comes out and the shades make an overdue appearance. And why the hell not? It could honk it down tomorrow.
Earlier, i went out and sat in the garden to just mull over a few ideas for an upcoming assignment in the lovely weather. The stupidly white patio set was blinding me so i went to get my sunglasses (stalked all the way to my room by the cat). The only pair i could find were some free 'Fosters' promotional sunglasses so i whacked them on. They annoyingly looked better then the expensive ones i bought for last summer. Although, i don't think i have the right shaped head for sunglasses, it's a bit too bowling-ballish for them to look quite right.Thinking about it, I've never actually drank Fosters...not really a beer lady, makes me pull skewift expressions. Blegh. More of a wine person, as mates know. And i would just like to take this opportnity to thank said mates for helping me to walk back up the stairs last weekend. Two glasses and i was gone. I ended up clinging onto the side of the car like a sozzled starfish. Oh dear.
Was such a funny night though, specially when we couldn't work out how to eat the profiteroles (those damn untrustworthy spoons) and when we forced the waiter (a.k.a the plumper twin of Eddie Murphy ) to have his picture taken. What a dude.
The only thing we all agree was missing was the legendary song, beautifully entitled "Nipple nipple nipple". Always draws tears. *laughs*

And a big "Eh Up" and massive "uwww raaarrr" to the Amazing Leon and his Sheffield Crew. Loves xx

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

A Consideration Of Raccoons

I know that sounds weird but i was just looking at this photo and thought, do raccoons 'check' each other out?
I mean, when a female raccoon walks past a male raccoon, does he twitch his whiskers and whisper to his mate, "I'd tap that" ?
Do female raccoons moan if it starts to rain on their fur,scared it'll go frizzy?
Are there some raccoons that are considered to be more sexy than others?
Look at this cute little rascal :) xx
But would he be considered sexy in the raccoon world?

Friday, 20 March 2009

Fireworks Of Happiness

Happiness comes in bursts like fireworks. All the colours of the universe explode inside of you and you feel great, you feel it surge through your whole body. But then it fizzles out, and you're left in that dark, uncertain space. Do you leave the stadium, bale out and go to your car? Do you 'keep the faith', believe the show isn't over, and wait for the lights to erupt again? xx

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

When Giant Pigs Attack...

When you go to visit a stately home for a 'jolly nice' day out, you don't expect to have to run for your life. From a gigantic pig of all things. He was in a pen, but that didn't stop him. This beast wanted to go on the rampage. He even looks like a brute on this picture *laughs* . I can't remember his name but for the purposes of this blog we'll call him Fred.
Well, because i absolutely love piggies i had to go and have a good peer into his pen. Fred had his arse facing towards me so i started making the kissing noises that i do to my cat at him. His curly tail started to twitch, so I naturally took this as a sign of his enjoyment. He obviously likes the attention, I wrongly thought. To my surprise, he whirled around and his beady eyes met mine. But instead of the lovable look I was hoping for, it appeared that I had incurred his wrath.
He jumped up, and gave the loudest grunt I've ever heard. It seemed to echo- probably the acoustics of the pen. His trotters scrabbled against the little gate that was the only fragile barrier between me and him. Oh crap, I remember thinking at the time. My dad thought this was highly amusing and managed to take a photograph of the event. Although I don't think it really represents the horror of this crazed pig.
The main thing I remember was running away as soon as Fred had made a couple of attempts at breaking free. He was looking right at me, I swear it. To be honest, I nearly crapped myself. I ran faster than a cheetah chasing a gazelle.
On the one hand, I was worried that he was going to escape and savage me, and on the other hand, I was worried I was going to be in trouble with the owners for the apparent agitation of him. I was terrified, I remember my heart punching inside of me like a boxer.

I'd still like my own piglet though...I'd call it Precious. Tee hee xx

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Tea and Cake - The Answer To Life's Problems

Okay, so they're not going come up with a solution to your problems. However, it has became clear to me that a nice cuppa tea helps a great deal in times of crisis, no matter how big said crisis is. Cake is tea's worthy accomplice in the calming down of a situation. It has to be home made cake though, not the bought crap. Unless it has royal icing. Yum.
These beauties were hand crafted by me. They don't look that big on the picture but let me assure you, these muffins were HUGE. I use the past tense because they were all scoffed pretty quickly. I even amazed myself with my baking skills *giggles* . They were really rich chocolate muffins with cherrys in them, topped with a chocolate gnashe (saucy type thing) with white chocolate hearts on top. I made everything myself. I was so chuffed :)
They seemed to put a smile on the face of all who tucked into them. I was so proud that i even took photographs. I guess that makes me a sad trout.
But, at least I'm a sad trout who can bake... ha ha ha xx

Friday, 13 March 2009

Moods Are A Rainbow

I seem to have developed an addiction to stationery. Pens mainly, coloured writing pens. I never write in the conventional blue and black Biro. Ever. My pen colour has to reflect how i feel at the time when I'm writing.
This may sound stupid, but it is really important to me. If i write in purple but I'm not really in a purpley mood i don't connect with my writing. So i have to change colour, to make sure that my inner self is at one with my work. You may think that's really weird, but that's me. Also, if I'm in the middle of writing something, i often feel the need to change to a different colour, to re-establish the balance, if I'm not feeling the original colour anymore. I like bright vibrant colours the best. If you think about it, different colours make you think of very different may not even agree with what these colours conjure for me, and that's because it's all subjective and personal.
Lime Green (best colour in the world) - Relaxing. Cocktails at sundown on a beach somewhere beautiful like Jamaica.
Yellow- Happiness. Running through a field with daises in your hair as a soft breeze blows, no worries.
Pink- Sweetness. Blushing as that special person talks to you.
Blue- Leicester City FC... (Oh Leicester I love you! Tee hee)
Red- Love. Receiving roses and chocolates in your sexiest dress at a date in a restaurant, you minx.
Or it could also represent evil...

Anyway i could go on, i could go on for days, as each individual shade of every single colour means different things/feelings/moods for me. And each one is magical in it's own way xx