Aliens?

I lay there. Boiling hot night, window wide open, cover thrown back. I began to slowly drift off, feeling pretty comfy to say the least. Suddenly a really loud noise erupted in my room. My eyes burst open and i stared wildly at my pillow.

What the hell is that?
I couldn't make out what it was. Didn't sound like any aircraft I've ever heard, and if it was a plane or something, surely the noise would get quieter as it passed? I froze. Sweating like mozzarella on a sunbed i tugged the duvet over my head.

What the hell is that?
I daren't look through the window. I could feel my temples pulsing. Beginning to feel very alone and vulnerable i cuddled my Filbert Fox. Thoughts flooded my head: what if something comes through the window, i can't close the window because i don't want them to see me through the curtain...

So. There i lay, in the foetal position clutching my cuddly toy with my eyes squeezed shut. Maybe this reaction was something to do with the horror film I'd just watched. All snuggled in my soft, safe cocoon I must've eventually fallen asleep.

The mystery was solved when i heard the radio in the morning though. Police helicopter. Oh my days. xx

Sunshine, Shades and Fosters...

Stacey!! "The Sun is shining. The Sky is blue. And i feel happy, happy all through" (The wisdom of Rosie and Jim can't ever be knocked tee hee)

When it's a brilliant day in the UK us Britons all feel the need to get out in the sun , while we can. Immediately the flip flops come out, the mini comes out and the shades make an overdue appearance. And why the hell not? It could honk it down tomorrow.

Earlier, i went out and sat in the garden to just mull over a few ideas for an upcoming assignment in the lovely weather. The stupidly white patio set was blinding me so i went to get my sunglasses (stalked all the way to my room by the cat). The only pair i could find were some free 'Fosters' promotional sunglasses so i whacked them on. They annoyingly looked better then the expensive ones i bought for last summer. Although, i don't think i have the right shaped head for sunglasses, it's a bit too bowling-ballish for them to look quite right.Thinking about it, I've never actually drank Fosters...not really a beer lady, makes me pull skewift expressions. Blegh. More of a wine person, as mates know. And i would just like to take this opportnity to thank said mates for helping me to walk back up the stairs last weekend. Two glasses and i was gone. I ended up clinging onto the side of the car like a sozzled starfish. Oh dear.

Was such a funny night though, specially when we couldn't work out how to eat the profiteroles (those damn untrustworthy spoons) and when we forced the waiter (a.k.a the plumper twin of Eddie Murphy ) to have his picture taken. What a dude.

The only thing we all agree was missing was the legendary song, beautifully entitled "Nipple nipple nipple". Always draws tears. *laughs*

And a big "Eh Up" and massive "uwww raaarrr" to the Amazing Leon and his Sheffield Crew. Loves xx

A Consideration Of Raccoons

I know that sounds weird but i was just looking at this photo and thought, do raccoons 'check' each other out?

I mean, when a female raccoon walks past a male raccoon, does he twitch his whiskers and whisper to his mate, "I'd tap that" ?

Do female raccoons moan if it starts to rain on their fur,scared it'll go frizzy?

Are there some raccoons that are considered to be more sexy than others?

Look at this cute little rascal :) xx

But would he be considered sexy in the raccoon world?

Fireworks Of Happiness

Happiness comes in bursts like fireworks. All the colours of the universe explode inside of you and you feel great, you feel it surge through your whole body. But then it fizzles out, and you're left in that dark, uncertain space. Do you leave the stadium, bale out and go to your car? Do you 'keep the faith', believe the show isn't over, and wait for the lights to erupt again? xx

When Giant Pigs Attack...

When you go to visit a stately home for a 'jolly nice' day out, you don't expect to have to run for your life. From a gigantic pig of all things. He was in a pen, but that didn't stop him. This beast wanted to go on the rampage. He even looks like a brute on this picture *laughs* . I can't remember his name but for the purposes of this blog we'll call him Fred.
Well, because i absolutely love piggies i had to go and have a good peer into his pen. Fred had his arse facing towards me so i started making the kissing noises that i do to my cat at him. His curly tail started to twitch, so I naturally took this as a sign of his enjoyment. He obviously likes the attention, I wrongly thought. To my surprise, he whirled around and his beady eyes met mine. But instead of the lovable look I was hoping for, it appeared that I had incurred his wrath.
He jumped up, and gave the loudest grunt I've ever heard. It seemed to echo- probably the acoustics of the pen. His trotters scrabbled against the little gate that was the only fragile barrier between me and him. Oh crap, I remember thinking at the time. My dad thought this was highly amusing and managed to take a photograph of the event. Although I don't think it really represents the horror of this crazed pig.
The main thing I remember was running away as soon as Fred had made a couple of attempts at breaking free. He was looking right at me, I swear it. To be honest, I nearly crapped myself. I ran faster than a cheetah chasing a gazelle.
On the one hand, I was worried that he was going to escape and savage me, and on the other hand, I was worried I was going to be in trouble with the owners for the apparent agitation of him. I was terrified, I remember my heart punching inside of me like a boxer.

I'd still like my own piglet though...I'd call it Precious. Tee hee xx

Tea and Cake - The Answer To Life's Problems

Okay, so they're not going come up with a solution to your problems. However, it has became clear to me that a nice cuppa tea helps a great deal in times of crisis, no matter how big said crisis is. Cake is tea's worthy accomplice in the calming down of a situation. It has to be home made cake though, not the bought crap. Unless it has royal icing. Yum.
These beauties were hand crafted by me. They don't look that big on the picture but let me assure you, these muffins were HUGE. I use the past tense because they were all scoffed pretty quickly. I even amazed myself with my baking skills *giggles* . They were really rich chocolate muffins with cherrys in them, topped with a chocolate gnashe (saucy type thing) with white chocolate hearts on top. I made everything myself. I was so chuffed :)
They seemed to put a smile on the face of all who tucked into them. I was so proud that i even took photographs. I guess that makes me a sad trout.
But, at least I'm a sad trout who can bake... ha ha ha xx

Moods Are A Rainbow

I seem to have developed an addiction to stationery. Pens mainly, coloured writing pens. I never write in the conventional blue and black Biro. Ever. My pen colour has to reflect how i feel at the time when I'm writing.

This may sound stupid, but it is really important to me. If i write in purple but I'm not really in a purpley mood i don't connect with my writing. So i have to change colour, to make sure that my inner self is at one with my work. You may think that's really weird, but that's me. Also, if I'm in the middle of writing something, i often feel the need to change to a different colour, to re-establish the balance, if I'm not feeling the original colour anymore. I like bright vibrant colours the best. If you think about it, different colours make you think of very different things...you may not even agree with what these colours conjure for me, and that's because it's all subjective and personal.

Lime Green (best colour in the world) - Relaxing. Cocktails at sundown on a beach somewhere beautiful like Jamaica.

Yellow- Happiness. Running through a field with daises in your hair as a soft breeze blows, no worries.

Pink- Sweetness. Blushing as that special person talks to you.

Blue- Leicester City FC... (Oh Leicester I love you! Tee hee)

Red- Love. Receiving roses and chocolates in your sexiest dress at a date in a restaurant, you minx.

Or it could also represent evil...

Anyway i could go on, i could go on for days, as each individual shade of every single colour means different things/feelings/moods for me. And each one is magical in it's own way xx

My Cue.

"Six O'clock already, i was just in the middle of a dream". Manic Monday by The Bangles.
Just heard that song playing on Eastenders and it's flooded my head with memories. I always get a knot tightening in my stomach every time i hear this song. It was my drama club's play of Our Day Out. This was opening night...
There I was standing backstage, the curtains closed and all is dark. Then this song blares through the old speakers and the shabby curtains fly back, lights illuminating the whole stage. My Cue.
Walking across the stage, pretending that it's a road, i feel hundreds of eyes burning into me. Don't trip, for God's sake, please don't trip.
I was bloody terrified.
All the feelings of that night come straight back to me whenever i hear this song. The nervous excitement of when my make-up plastered face met the audiences'. I knew my mum and grandparents were sitting in the audience, their eyes fixed on me. Nobody else, just me. Dad didn't come, he was watching the England match on TV at home. (world cup). I remember wishing that i was at home watching it with him when those curtains opened.
I can't listen to this song properly anymore, not that i was a massive fan of it before, but now it's a complete no.

The Prunes That Package Peanuts

I fancied a little snack earlier. So, I did my usual rummage in the kitchen cupboards. Amongst other things, I came across: squirrel flavoured crisps, some sexy-looking biscuits, a nine year old stick of rock and some dry roasted nuts. I decided to go for the nuts.
Whilst doing my routine calorie check on the back of the packet, I found the warning - "Contains Nuts". Never, I thought to myself, as i revolved my tongue to de-nut my teeth. Nice.

Has the packaging industry gone mad?

On a more random note- there's no-one in the world who can deny how funky this and this are. xx

Outfits Aren't Complete Without Some Cat Fur

Having to de-fur your whole outfit before you can leave the house drives you crazy. Even when you think you've got the fur off you, it seems to suction back onto you somehow. A complete nightmare if you're wearing anything black.
A friend of mine (who'll remain nameless) found this out for herself at a gathering at my cat-obsessed house. She decided that she would lie on the floor whilst we watched a film. Little did she know that she was lying in my cat's favourite spot in front of the fire. When she eventually got up, her black ensemble had been totally gingered.
After trying to pick the fur off her for several minutes, i had a better idea. The lint roller. I just remember thinking at the time: this would be so much funnier if there was paint on here.
This always happens at my house. People always leave with a little memento from my cat. Or with a 20p in their shoe... xx

Day-Time TV

I don't know whether this is just me but if i get a day off and have nothing much to do i always find myself watching TV for hours.
I'm getting addicted to Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic and Dickinson's Real Deal. But, I'm not just watching them for the sake of it, i really really like them. In fact, if they're on a couple of minutes later than scheduled, i find myself becoming irritable. Irate even.
I MUST HAVE BOBBYDAZZLERS, I MUST, I MUST!

Everybody says that diamonds are a girl's best friend. To be honest though, I'm not mad on diamonds. Don't get me wrong- i like them but i think there's gems with more "wow-factor" out there. Such as, AAA Tanzanite, Pariba Tourmaline, etc.

However, all gem stones are beautiful.The world is an amazingly beautiful place, isn't it? xx

The Pavement Dance

I was doing my usual march to the bus stop after my workshop today when this embarrassing thing happened.

It's not the first time it's ever happened. I have a hunch that it's not going to be the last time it happens either. Also, I'm guessing that you will have experienced this yourself at some point. If you haven't, then you've got this treat to come, you lucky thing you.

I was darting along the pavement, trying to make sure that i didn't miss my bus (like I did yesterday) and this girl was walking towards me. Being closer to the gates on my right than she was, i naturally moved across to the right so she could get past. She cleverly moved to the same side. The donkey.

So there we were, stuck facing each other. You know where this is going...i go to move to the other side, so does she...this spectacle seemed to go on for ages. It was like a bird of paradise's mating dance.
We both smiled, cringing with embarrassment. We both apologised, but still neither of us could decide which side is whose. We both felt uncomfortable at the invasion of our personal space, making us all the more clumsy in our desires to escape. And so, to our horror, on continued the dance .

After finally breaking free, i flew off down the street. (Partly because of the humiliation, partly so I caught the bus.)

Why does stuff like this happen to me all the time? xx

A random search can prove quite fascinating...

When I'm bored it often leads to one of the following: snacking on cheese, listening to cheese that i haven't heard for ages or searching for random things on the 'net. Sometimes, if I'm feeling slightly rebellious i might do them all simultaneously.

Tonight, I've found something quite amazing and I'd like to share it with you all. Honestly, i nearly wet myself laughing at this. So just to be on the safe side, i suggest you pop to the loo before having a look at this witty kitty. xx

Boo to colds

Firstly, my voice goes like Barry White. Secondly, scratchy tissues make my nose sore. Thirdly, my eyes go red and watery. And then there's the whole general crappy feeling. Boo to that. And double boo to not being able to sleep at night. Grrrrr.
I know that vitamin c is supposed to be one of the best things to help boost your immune system. So, i went down to the shop earlier and bought myself loads of orange juice. Four cartons in fact. As you can see, i think orange juice is pretty damn tasty; i could swim around in a big vat of it. Note: not orange squash because i personally can't stand it because it tastes all weak and fake. Blegh. Anyway, what was i saying? Oh yeah, boo to colds.

If any of you have the flu or a cold at the mo, here's some info for you. Some interesting facts...okay so it's not the most facinating subject ever but it's all useful i guess. xx

Kangarooing...

Picked up my car today! I'm just getting used to her at the moment, been having a good old drive around for most of the day. Some git started papping at me loads when i stalled, which terrified me, and because i was flustered trying to start up again i ended up stalling three times in a row. Ooopsie.

Later on i went and got a "Caution new driver!" window sticker; advanced warning for anyone behind me. I also like to think of it as a "don't-pap-at-me-or-this'll-take-twice/thrice-as-long" sticker. xx

Hairballs And Duvets

Earler my cat Roo was asleep, on the special cat blanket that i bought for him a while ago,whilst i was searching around my room for an old book. Suddenly i heard a familiar noise which instantly made me spin around.
Ffffft Ffffft.
I looked at him and there he was on his blanket with his neck stuck out like a pigeon. His lips were pressed together and he was wheezing. Bubbles started to froth out of his mouth as though he'd been drinking washing-up liquid. A minute later a sticky ball was sitting on my bed. He obviously didn't want to get his blanket dirty; he had manovered himself so that his mouth was sticking over the side of his blanket and onto my duvet. Delightful.

I wasn't angry with him though- well, could you be angry at the cutest cat in the whole world?

My search for the book was put off til tomorrow though, as i had to change all my bed and wash everything. Couldn't be arsed to resume the search afterwards. xx

The Oddest Question I've Ever Been Asked?

Everybody's been there. That uncomfortable silence after somebody has asked you something that's either very strange or just darn right wrong. These situations are sometimes with friends or family (in this case laughter usually follows) but on occasions you get a random stranger who makes you want to go and liberally wash your ears out with bleach.

Or a pressure washer.

I know you know this feeling. I also know that remembering what that person said to you has made you squirm like an intoxicated worm.

I personally shudder when mates remind me of,who is now referred to in passing conversation as, the "will-you-pet-my-gerbil?" guy. Suffice to say, it wasn't a gerbil. No it deffinately wasn't a gerbil. Yuk.

However (moving swiftly on, thank goodness),back to friends: i remember sitting in a classroom, doing the good old "silent reading" drill, and my best mate leaned over to me and whispered randomly, "Can i lick your ear?" I laughed. I laughed a lot. I laughed so much that i was awarded a lunchtime detention. Fun times...fun times...xx

Here I Am

This is exciting - i have my own blog! It's fairly early in the morning so i haven't done too much out of the ordinary yet. At the moment i'm in my uni workshop after arriving a bit late. Not really my fault though, i blame the sloth in the car in front of us who doesn't know that green means GO GO GO! In fact, by the time Miss Sloth decided to move, the lights had changed back to red for me and mum. Great. It was as though she was looking out of her rear window mocking us.

Aww how cute is this sloth? Bless him (or her) xx